Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
