what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You made out with two different species that night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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