How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
