That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize