In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
