maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
