better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We are two peas in an std pod
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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