didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
