just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
