THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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