OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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