Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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