tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
