tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
