She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize