Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize