It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
