mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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