If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
