i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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