note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
