theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
