We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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