I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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