Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
