im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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