it was like eating out sand paper
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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