The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
3 2 1 whiskey
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
