how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
