Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
