i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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