She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
