I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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