your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
