My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
