He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
