Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
