brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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