i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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