if i died would you start the facebook group?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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