The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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