so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
