Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
