seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
