So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
