Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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