i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
