Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
