Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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