Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
