I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
