i need an iv and a liver transplant
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
