I bet he comes in French.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
