I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize