I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
