I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize