I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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