nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
