Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
