My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize