I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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