He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
